No one in the room paid me any special attention. No one stared or even seemed to notice I was there. My presence must have been an entirely natural event. For some reasons, I only wanted to be invisible, to exhibit my impossible powers of optical fluoroscopy.
This was nothing special. It constantly occurs to me.
Things weren't always so grim, you know? We had our moments, and even when our own world fell apart we still had fun. Every year, we make a list of resolutions, though we create our resolve we don't always follow it. The way things are right now, I mean, everything's so uncertain.
When new year comes, I mold my resolve. The first time, it's in my head. I dub this reflecting. I walk around, I reminisce, and think my brains out. I strengthen whatever principle is developing out of this serious thinking, and sometimes I put those words on paper. When I'm finished, I have an outline of my new self, and I may just claim it if I do wish to change my old ways.
It's more like a canvas. I mean, molding one's resolutions is like concentrating on an unfinished painting; hence, you form resolutions to complete or fill in what you lack. But this is, nonetheless, unobligatory since one may stay just the way they are. I describe everything that I would want and would not want to happen, and I try to explore the mood and atmosphere and ideas of every scene that I put myself into, and I would decide if I should change myself in some cases or not. All this is hard since those imaginations would not exactly happen as you want them to be. Then I make principles. Promises that should not be broken. In other words, the set of rules that I shouldn't violate. It takes great discipline to flow with these, and to be able to enter the next chapter of life.
On the last day of December, I started working on these principles.
I renewed some, but I retained most.
I'll continue adhering.
This 2014, I have returned anew.
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